First person account: schizophrenia.

The article that follows is part of the Schizophrenia Bulletin's ongoing First Person Accounts series. We hope that mental health professionals—the Bulletin's primary audience—will take this opportunity to learn about the issues and difficulties confronted by consumers of mental health care. In addition, we hope that these accounts will give patients and families a better sense of not being alone in confronting the problems that can be anticipated by persons with serious emotional difficulties. We welcome other contributions from patients, ex-patients, or family members. Our major editorial requirement is that such contributions be clearly written and organized , and that a novel or unique aspect of schizophrenia be described, with special emphasis on points that will be important for professionals. Clini-cians who see articulate patients, with experiences they believe should be shared, might encourage these patients to submit their articles to First Person Ac-I am 28 years old and have suffered from schizophrenia for most of my life. This has resulted in long periods of hospitalization and numerous forms of treatment, many of which just managed to keep me alive. I now live in the community and attend various outpatient clinics where I see the consultants responsible for my care. Schizophrenia is an extreme of the human condition and is shrouded by enigma and mystery. It is marked by profound misery and isolation and also by societies' neglect and misunderstanding. The inevitable consequence for most victims is that of institutionalization or, as is more common currently, existence within the community. It is often the case that there is insufficient care or support , and many sufferers are left to meander in wretched desolation, treated only with disdain and abuse. Yet, how does this disorder relate to common perception? Without doubt, it generates misconceptions and fear and is often considered indicative of true "madness." This perception, however, can only perpetuate and augment the alienation that is prevalent in those who are afflicted. The reality for myself is almost constant pain and torment. The voices and visions, which are so commonly experienced, intrude and so disturb my everyday life. The voices are predominantly destructive, either rambling in alien tongues or screaming orders to carry out violent acts. They also persecute me by way of unwavering commentary and ridicule to deceive, derange, and force me into a world of crippling paranoia. Their commands are abrasive and all-encompassing and have resulted in periods of …